This morning came very early. After a not-so-great sleep I was up and awake long before I wanted to be. Today was court! As a beginner in this crazy game of foster parenting, we had no idea what to expect from today. So I woke early, cooked a wonderful breakfast (however the anxiety burned my biscuits) and prayed for God's will. My husband is not like me. He was actually attending the court hearing and woke up only a few minutes prior to having to be out the door. When he walked out of our room I politely (I think) asked him to go and change. "But no one is going to pay attention to what I am wearing." was his response. "I will!" was my reply. Lets just say he did change before leaving.
So my front door closes with my sweet husband and mother getting in the car and driving to our court hearing. The minutes could not have gone by any slower. Court was scheduled to start at 9:00 am. By 9:40 my husband was calling me to inform me on what happened. We are proceeding with the case plan. The parents are attempting to work their plan. That is all!
As a foster parent you know that your goal is reunification with the family. That is what we are taught. That is our calling. We love the babies as if they will stay forever, and plan as if they will go home tomorrow. This is such an easier concept when you do not have a placement. I know that God is in control of our situation. I beleive that the outcome of the placement will be God's will. I have faith that we are doing what we are supposed to be doing. I still feel like the air is being taken out of me when I think of the babies going home. Our faith is the only way we get through this. Saying goodbye to a child who has previously been removed for whatever reason is hard, but the uncertainty of their little lives is the hardest. You pray the parents grow and learn and become the kind of parent we all stride to be. As we all know, there are No guarantees.
As of now Mr J and Miss A will be with us a while longer. We are beyond blessed! Before long Miss A will be walking everywhere and Mr J is starting a very scary road of potty training!!! (Please pray for me) We are overcome with joy knowing that there are no goodbyes directly in front of us. As of today we are still a mommy and a daddy. I am blessed with every single day I have to be here for the children. I thank God that my dear husband has the opportunity to feel a small tug on his finger and an even bigger tug on his heart.
So today is a good day!