Sunday, April 10, 2011

Changing Lives Each and Every Single Day

Some stories are too good to not be told. 

There are those stores that warm your heart and make you believe in miracles.

I am amazingly blessed to have one of these stories.

Are you ready?

Two years ago today, in a hospital room about two hours away from where I sit typing this, Matthew was being born.  His birth mother had diligently selected the perfect adoptive family for Matthew.  They met.  They fell in love.  This was the beginning of their very own "happily ever after." 

In our life, however, disaster had struck.  April 10, 2010 would go down in history as the worst day is history.  At least at this point in time.  We sat there in our living room all day long mourning over the child we had found out would in fact not be ours.  We had been told in February that we would be adopting "P."  "P" ended up being adopted by a wonderful family, and looking back now we can see why God had things work out the way they did.

However, at that place and time I was mad.  I was depressed.  My world was falling apart.  I was slowly picking up the pieces over the following months.  Every time we seemed to get things back together, another adoption would fall through.  This was one of the hardest times in our lives.

While we were regaining our place in life, Matthew's first adoptive home was struggling.  His family was finding it hard to come to terms with his special needs and decided they could no longer parent him.  I am sure it was one of the hardest decisions they have ever made.  This blog is public and not for scrutiny for their pain. 

On September 7, 2009 we received an email that would change our lives.  It directed us to a website where children with special needs were often put up for readoption (yes, it really does happen!) because their first adoptive home no longer feels they are the perfect "forever family."  The very first picture I saw was a chubby little five month old brown haired, brown eyed boy with so many medical conditions I didn't even know where to begin researching.  The only thing I know for sure was I needed to call Brandon, and I needed to figure out what in the world that feeling in my heart meant.  As I turns out the email was meant for me to look into the blonde haired two year old whose picture was below Matthew's.  See, sometimes God's plan is all about perfect timing.

Me:  "Brandon, I think I found our son.  I need to make a phone call.".
Him: "Are you sure."
Me:  "No."
Him:  "Ok...then what do you want to do...?"
Me:  "Call anyway."
Him: "Let's call."
Me: "Ok."

Granted.  There were more words than that, but you get the gest. 

I made the call.  The next seven days consisted of paperwork and faxing.  People came in to the house.  People asked really personal questions. I made so many phone calls.  I spent many late nights learning all about our son's medical conditions.  We painted a nursery.  We discussed names.  We nested.  All the while, I waited for the other shoe to drop.

We had been through this before, you know?

Saturday night came and I laid next to Brandon and said "I don't think I can raise  a special needs child."  He told me to think and pray.  I agreed.  Sunday morning came and we headed off to church, late as usual.  We walked into our Sunday School class late and causing a scene.  We sat down and tried to concentrate on the lesson.  That's when my world changed for the second time in seven days. 

As I sat there my eyes filled up with tears.  The teacher spoke about recognizing when we are asked to fulfill the will for our lives in the face of our own fear.  I realized that my fear was holding me back from the one thing in this world we had prayed for for so long. 

We left church that day and immediately called our adoption worker. We would be bringing Matthew home on Thursday.

There is a moment I have envied from pregnant parents my whole life.  Its that moment when the parents lay eyes on their child for the very first time, and you can feel the emotion radiate from the photograph.  On September 17, 2009 as our angel Jeannette placed Matthew in my arms my eyes filled up with tears.  I don't recall the picture being taken or Brandon wiping my face.  I don't remember crying like a baby. I remember looking down and gazing into the beautiful brown eyes of the most magical little boy who was everything we had ever hoped regardless of what his medical records consisted of.

Today he turns two!


That is two whole years of blessings!!  We are blessed each and every day by his smile, his determination, his love of life, and his go get em' attitude.  He is our little guy!

We know that two years is a miracle to many parents who battle many of the same medical diagnoses that we do, so we celebrate each and every single day with our special guy.  And each and every single day we celebrate we celebrate you!

Happy Birthday Joshua Matthew!

You are our first born!  You are the apple of our eye!  You are big boy now!!!!

We love you more and more each and every single second of each and every single day!

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